I wrote this long time ago, halfway through graduation, and yet the feeling remains, as I couldn’t find time to write a blog, I thought I’d just keep this here, just in case…
I start with nothing else to do. “Nothing”, never thought I would ever have to do this. So I say to myself…. Why don’t I do something more … a little more. A little more than nothing is what I plan to do. Unless you have nothing to do right now, read this, maybe we’ll find that little something to life, somehow.
Feeling weird already, don’t worry things will get weirder.
You’re standing on the edge of a cliff, waves splashing into the seashore below you. The sun dissolving into oblivion, in the bottomless sea. Sky being blue as the faded color of your jeans. Sitting beside the one thing you feel most precious in life. (for some It may be love, some might be thinking more achievable things like a car or a pile of money….and for some a la Lord of the Rings…a ring) whatever may it be…its sitting next to you… for now and ever…nothing more could you ask for, and then a sudden shriek of chimes shred the perfect silence and bring you back into reality…. bitter reality (the world as we know it). You look at the clock and its time for the university again. “Again”, I say that with grave pain. Taake some time and your late for the point. You miss it same as the last time you went out partying at midnight. This is how an average day starts. Its been goin on like this for years, with nothing changed. Why Is life like this we ask…same old precomputed tasks we do every day. Waiting for that little not the usual thing to happen. Never does, does it. Classes pass dozing off, with no intent to gain knowledge from the all so boring teachers. I don’t have to rub all this , it happens with all of us…. But the thing is why do we do it. I mean we should do what we’re supposed to right, “study” aughh… who wants to do that… not because we don’t want to or we don’t have any sense of responsibility. But because its not cool, its not exactly what a teen would “dig” in…. so what exactly do we so called gen-x dig in ( I know this is getting sorta boring but remember you are doin that thing called “nothing”)
Well when your down out, frustrated and sick of life…..what do you do… party party.
So this seems to be the best way to capitalize on the so powerful force of boredom. We hang out with our friends and do absolutely anything that comes even close to the definition of fun. Going out with the guys to gaze natures beauties is one of the best sorrow remedey ( and by natures beauty I don’t mean tree) Seems nice at the time…. When at last your friends drop you off back at your home…and your alone back again …. Sitting in one corner you think about whats goin on….why is it like this…why does my life suck. Then you think , there must be something more to do, something a little more than nothing.
Then you think about that long lost love, the one who really made you think you had a meaning in life. And you say, why did she have to do this (or for some, why did I had to do that) You think about her almost an hour or so and finally you decide to contact her. Lets make things work again, you say to yourself. Can that really ever happen. We were young and we were crazy… we cant feel the same now…. A long time has passed…so a split second decision changes the whole plan of making it work again.
You say, that’s over with…its time to move on, find someone new. Someone new, well that’s a good idea, or so it seems like it. So you take out your long list of crushes. You take out a name….eenne meenie miney mo…. A name pops up…. And again you think about it…. After an hour of brainstorming think about the possible possibilities and then atlast you decide…naaah forget it…cant happen….a perfect plan gone wrong.
So what next, after skipping twenty channels on cable and seeing nothing but guys and girls who cant get their hands off each other, the power button becomes the victim of thumb pressure. So what now… depressed yes, but the spirit is still there. You power up you pc and gaze at the screen as windows loads up… hopefully without any errors. Connect your favourite ISP and hope just hope that you have some mail waiting to be read. The melodious voice of the modem connecting see you through to the hotmail page. Sign in with excitement, looking at the inbox with 10 new messages, only to be ruined in a second when the inbox opens up…. With three fwrds, three special offers, one mail from your old pals which you save for some other time when you feel like it…and the rest three , uh well, megasex free password offers, tempting and after a while you say…naah I’m over that.
What now, you dc as the net hrs are getting near to that zero mark…because of you know why (you had do chek it out to get over it ). Add the best selected slow songs (including Evrything I do I do it for you and summer of 69 ) and sit back , relax and think about it….think what wrong….and suddenly you smile…a thought of the good ol times, a flashback of the wonder years. After a while you are lost deep within your self….your past…. And you don’t want to get back….back to the future…you are happy in your past… you say to yourself…. That was the life….thats how it was supposed to be….
It doesn’t hurt to take a chance…doesn’t hurt to make a moment…
A little response doesn’t hurt anyone….. little response does …
Cherish memories and the friends who made them So take a chance, make a moment, to cherish for that’s the little something you have when no one is there for you.
That something a little more than nothing…………………….
dedicated to my frnds from PIS-Rdh KSA and FAST-ICS